There’s a lame ass unwritten rule in baseball where you are expected to keep celebrations to a minimum in order to not ‘show up’ your opponent. As baseball tries it’s hardest to grab the attention of the next generation of sports fans it would be best if the Players Union held a clinic to discuss how fucking stupid this unwritten rule is.

The latest brouhaha stems from the Brewers celebration against the Giants. For months I have been telling my boyfriend that baseball’s walk off celebrations are so 2000 late. I’m tired of seeing the same jumping on home plate while punching your teammates in the balls celebration. So when I first saw this video of Prince Fielder exploding like a bomb and his Brewer teammates falling down around home, I LOL’d.

The Brewers’ walk off home run celebration video

As expected, the baseball ‘purists’ waxed poetic about how this type of celebration is disrespectful and will destroy the game. Really? I thought this is what every kid dreams about in his backyard.

You know the scenario, it’s bottom of the ninth, two outs, bases loaded, down by three at home in game seven of the World Series. The closer throws triple digits and you get around on his 3-2 fastball, parking it in the left field seats (sorry left handers). The crowd goes wild! OK, this was just a regular season game in Milwaukee but we all dreamed about two things growing up, hitting the game winning homer and the locker room orgy after the game.

But hold it right there human being who just won the game for his team, the city and the fans. Don’t you dare show emotion. Baseball’s unwritten rule states that you are to jog with your head down around the bases, quietly go into your dugout and go home. If you don’t abide by this rule, you risk the wrath of the opposing team’s pitchers the next time you face them. In this context, wrath means a fastball in your ribs or worse at your head.

Talk about being disrespectful. Some pitcher wants to put your career or health at risk cause he’s a little touchy. Who’s being disrespected here? Pitchers need to quit whining and get over themselves. You don’t deserve any more or less respect than any player in any other sport. Imagine the scenario in other sports if players were so thin skinned. Should goalies punch you in the nuts if you take your shirt off while celebrating a goal? As team sports go there are few contact plays in baseball. In football, basketball and hockey if you feel disrespected you just knock the crap out of the person.

In baseball it’s considered disrespectful to admire your homer and baseball purists think it’s OK for a pitcher to retaliate against someone who did so. That’s like throwing your algebra book at someone who did well on a test you failed. Waaaaaaaaaa!

About the Brewers celebration Angels outfielder Torii Hunter said:

“If I was a pitcher, I’d be [ticked] off. My mouth would be wide open. I’d be shocked. Baseball is not like the NFL, where you can celebrate in the end zone. You’ve got to keep your cool, play the game. You can’t do that.”

Seriously, that sounds real easy to do when you’re on a team that wins the division every year. But for a team like Milwaukee who, since the 1980′s, have had little to celebrate I will allow for some celebration. Let the players have fun and stop coddling these pitchers. It’s not like Fielder pointed at the pitcher while running around the bases or something. He didn’t call any attention to the opposing pitcher. He celebrated with his teammates at home plate. What’s wrong with that?

Sometimes you lose because the other guy just beats you. You can either man up and move on or act like a wus and seek retaliation.